I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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