Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
