I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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