i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
