the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
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