OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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