You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Four minutes until I can fart!
They're donating plasma together for extra money. Couple of the fucking century.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
