CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
