PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
