Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
