maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
