If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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