i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
