I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Small penises have feelings too.
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
