i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize