Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
Randomize
