I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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