When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
