I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
