im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
