we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
