I think I won the penis lottery.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
Randomize