The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
