GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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