That's intense
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
Randomize
