I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
Randomize
