Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
