Quick, to the slutcave!
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
