I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
Randomize
