Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Randomize
