I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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