There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Randomize