I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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