is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Randomize
