So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
