So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Randomize
