Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
