I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Small penises have feelings too.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
How's work?
Spinning.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
