My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize