Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
they need to just BURY HIM!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
