let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
