I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
