it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
