Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Randomize
