What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
