ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
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