Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
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