Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
