also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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