I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
