Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
