Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
