if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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