I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
Your message has been received by an unknown user. Picture verification required.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
