Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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