just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
