Will you blow on my dice?
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
