Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Randomize