She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
