The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
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