I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
