I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
It was the first time I had seen his penis when it wasnt hard. It just looked so vulnerable and a little bit depressed.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
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