Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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