All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
