I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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