Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
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