I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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